One question before we look at loving our enemy. Should the Christian have enemies in their life? If a Christian is living out the Gospel, loving God, loving his/her neighbor, and loving those around them as God loves them, will they have enemies? Many would say we shouldn’t have enemies if we are living out the Christian faith, but the opposite is true. If we are living out our faith we will make more enemies then if we didn’t walk with God, as we can see from the Scriptures below.
Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets.
-Luke 6:26
All men will hate you because of me.
-Luke 21:17
If you belonged to the world, it would love you as its own. As it is, you do not belong to the world, but I have chosen you out of the world. That is why the world hates you. -John 15:19
Ryan Akers, from his sermon “Who Is Your Enemy?” says, “How many of you (don’t raise your hands) have ever had somebody in your life that you just couldn’t stand? That when they walked into the room when you saw them or heard there voice you just cringed. You were instantly annoyed. When someone even just mentions their name we are just like, “Man I can’t stand them. They did this or they do that. Or they did this and really hurt me, or when they are around they act like this and it’s just annoying.” I don’t know why you can’t stand this person. Maybe they hurt you. Maybe they are a know it all or are incredibly demanding or are always wanting their own way. Maybe they are incredibly selfish. But for whatever reason I have a hard time believing that most if not all of us in here at one time or another have not had someone come into our lives that challenged our patience.”[i]
Usually when we hear the word enemy we think of someone who wants to cause us harm, who is hostile to us, or is an adversary. What is your definition of an enemy? How would you describe someone who is your enemy and what makes them an enemy in your life? As we think about this, let’s not narrow it down to those who we consider an enemy, but include those who consider us their enemy. What about those whom we have hurt, ridiculed, or threatened. And we have plenty of silent enemies in our lives. Those are people who we treat as if we like them, but deep down we can’t stand them. We never let them know we consider them an enemy, and if they do know, we both act as if we are not. Do you have any silent enemies? So who are your enemies? How do you deal with them in your life? Or do you avoid them as much as possible?
What does Scripture call us to do with our enemies? Romans 12:14-21 says, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited. Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge; I will repay," says the Lord. On the contrary: "If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head." Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” What Scripture says about loving an enemy goes against what the world says we should do. It also goes against what we think in our minds when we have an enemy in our life. Romans 12 says to bless them, rejoice with them, mourn with them, do not repay, live in peace if possible, do not take revenge, and leave room for God’s wrath. It can be hard to bless those who we hate, or strongly dislike, but to rejoice and mourn with them is even harder. We may not say it out loud, but we usually want to see justice done to them, and even gloat when it happens. But this goes against what God’s Word has called to do.
Matthew 5:43-45a says, "You have heard that it was said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.' But I tell you: Love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven.” Another way we can love our enemy is to pray for them. We cannot change another person’s mind or heart, only God can, but we can turn out attention to Him in prayer. It is not just a prayer to change them into what Christ wants them to be, and not what we want to them to be, but a prayer that God would bless and protected them. John Gill said, “What Christ here commands and advises to, he himself did; for as he hung upon the cross, he prayed for his crucifiers, who were then using him in the most despiteful, as well as cruel manner; saying, "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do": and in this he has left us an example, that we should tread in his steps; and here in he was quickly followed by his holy martyr Stephen; who, whilst he was being stoned, prayed for his persecutors and murderers, saying, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge". This breathes out the true spirit of Christianity, and is peculiar to it.”[ii]
Luke 6:26-29 states, “Woe to you when all men speak well of you, for that is how their fathers treated the false prophets. "But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic.” Loving our enemy goes past just praying for them, but doing good for them, even blessing them, and turning the other cheek. We can pray for them without having them in front of us, we can even refrain from speak evil of them to others. But to do good for them is one of the hardest things to do at times. Jesus is our example as we read from 1 Peter 2:22-23,"He committed no sin, and no deceit was found in his mouth." When they hurled their insults at him, he did not retaliate; when he suffered, he made no threats. Instead, he entrusted himself to him who judges justly.” We are called to love them, but this doesn’t mean that God won’t deal with them justly, He will. That is His job, not ours, so when our enemy looks to harm us, let us remember who the judge is, and that is a position we do not hold.
What happens to you when you experience suffering and loss in your life? What happens when those you love, hurt you? When we love someone we have to keep in mind we love a limited person. We have in our minds what we want that person to be; we have a fantasy of someone who has boundless energy to give us, boundless love to offer us when we need it, and boundless trust. We have built up in our minds someone who does not and cannot exist. And when that limited person shows us their limits, we want to run from them. When they show us their selfishness, their coldness, their half-heartedness and their mean spirit, we feel deeply hurt and deeply angry. We want to withhold our love for them, we feel abandon, so we want to abandon, we feel tossed aside, so we want to toss them aside, we feel hurt, so we want to hurt them.
In Ephesians Paul writes, “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church--for we are members of his body.”
As we think about what Paul said, we must keep in mind that we are the bride. We are a nasty, hard-hearted, mean-spirited, selfish, ambitious, self-serving mean bride at times. We are limited, like those in our lives who have hurt us. Christ didn’t suffer, and die for a bride who is pure and spotless. Romans 5:8 states, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” When we hear the words sinner, do we really truly understand the full measure of it? Romans 1:29-32 says, “They have become filled with every kind of wickedness, evil, greed and depravity. They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit and malice. They are gossips, slanderers, God-haters, insolent, arrogant and boastful; they invent ways of doing evil; they disobey their parents; they are senseless, faithless, heartless, ruthless. Although they know God's righteous decree that those who do such things deserve death, they not only continue to do these very things but also approve of those who practice them.” And what was Christ response to the list in Romans 1:29-32, while they were wicked, evil, depraved, greedy, self-serving, slanders, arrogant, boastful, heartless and cold to one another, Christ died for them. This is the church Christ died for in Ephesians. This is the bride who we are, and what has Christ demanded from us? “Love one another as I have loved you.” (John 13:34) When another turns their backs on you, what does Jesus call us to do, “Love them as I have loved you.” When others treat you with coldness, what does Jesus expect of you? Love them as I have loved you. When others slander you, what does Jesus want from us? Love them as I have loved you. When they belittle you in front of others, how does Christ want us to respond? Love them as I have loved you. When you feel betrayed, what does Jesus demand from us? Love them as I have loved you. When someone shows us their limits, what do we need to do? Love them as Jesus loves us.
“Christian love draws no distinction between one enemy and another, except that the more bitter our enemy’s hatred, the greater his need of love.” -Dietrich Bonhoeffer
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